


It's Always You

by awesomeskittlesclw83



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:18:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3323891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomeskittlesclw83/pseuds/awesomeskittlesclw83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bellamy returns from Mt. Weather to find Murphy gone, he needs to find him and doesn't know why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored, it was 3am and this happened. I suck at smut so I'm just gonna say sorry for this in advance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy searches for Murphy and when he finds him things are said that neither expected.

When Bellamy returns to Camp Jaha with the 47, everyone is calling him a hero and congratulating him but he can't help feeling like something's missing. There's something off about being back and he can't figure out what it is but when he overhears Abby and Kane talking about a missing gun, it hits him, Murphy. 

He hadn't seen Murphy since he'd come back. In fact Murphy was nowhere in sight which was odd considering that ever since they had first come to Camp Jaha, he'd stayed close to either him or Clarke. It irked him in a way that he didn't quite understand and decided to ask Clarke if she'd seen him. 

"You haven't seen Murphy around anywhere, have you? I can't seem to find him."

"No, why? Did he do something while we were gone?"

"No. I just..."

"It's Murphy, not seeing him is a good thing."

"Something's not right Clarke. He should be here."

"Why? He's nothing but trouble."

"Maybe. I don't know. "

Clarke looked at him with concern prompting him to say "I just don't wanna risk him possibly screwing up this alliance by doing something stupid."

"Well I haven't seen him but I haven't exactly been looking so if I find him I'll let him know you were looking for him."

She leaves and he continued his search for answers. He wasn't sure why but something about his absence was getting to him. By the end of the day he'd come up empty and started to worry. He couldn't help thinking that the Grounders had him again and how he'd once again failed him. He knew it was irrational given the treaty they had but it's what he thought. 

It seemed no matter how hard he tried Bellamy was always failing someone and he was over it. Never again would he fail someone who depended on him, who needed him and it started with Murphy. He didn't know why but he needed to find him and make sure he was safe. 

The next day he heard someone talking about how Jaha had been obsessed with finding the City of Light and he'd even managed to recruit a dozen people to follow him but he was stopping by his son's grave first. Bellamy decided the drop ship was where he'd begin his search and track from there cuz it was the only lead he had. 

Clarke protested of course but he assured her he wouldn't be gone long and she'd be fine until he returned. Once he got to the drop ship he looked for any signs of recent traffic and found footprints heading east. He studied the tracks for a while before deciding to follow them and hoped they weren't too far ahead. 

He figured they were about 2 or 3 days ahead of him which meant he had a lot of ground to cover and wasn't getting much sleep. After having found no sign of them for the last 2 days, he was ready to give up. He had been out here for 5 days following footprints that he hoped were his people but wasn't really sure and now even those had disappeared. Just as he was about to turn around and head back to camp, he came across a fire. It wasn't burning but was still slightly warm to the touch which meant they weren't far and he picked up the pace. 

Soon he could hear Jaha's voice in the distance and once he was able to actually see them he slowed down. He stops when he sees Murphy shove some guy who was in his face and smiles. When the guy shoves him back, Bellamy has a sudden urge to punch them but has no clue where the hell it came from. Murphy swings his arm back, ready to hit the guy but Jaha grabs it and says

"We all want the same things, John."

"John?" Bellamy whispered confused. 

There was something that didn't sit right with him hearing Jaha call Murphy by his first name. It sounded wrong somehow but he snapped himself outta his thoughts when he realized Jaha was still talking and Murphy was listening.

Murphy was actually listening to Jaha like he used to do with him. He hung on every word, intently listening like a child with his father and Bellamy finally understood why Murphy kept coming back and felt so betrayed by him. The group started moving again but Murphy stayed a few feet behind. He was close enough that they were still in sight but far enough away that he wasn't considered part of the group. 

Bellamy wanted to talk to him but he seemed better off and didn't wanna intrude on that so he stepped back to leave but when he did he stepped on a twig. It snapped loudly under his feet and when he looked up cursing himself Murphy was looking at him. Bellamy was about to speak when Jaha's voice rang out. 

"Something wrong, John?" 

"No I just gotta take a leak. Keep going and I'll catch up. I won't be long."

His answer must have satisfied him because he didn't say another word and Murphy turned his attention back to Bellamy. 

"What the hell do you want, Bellamy?"

He didn't sound angry but Bellamy couldn't read him either and it threw him off a bit. 

"I...I don't know. I got our friends back from Mt. Weather."

"And what, you've come to gloat about how much of a hero you are cuz you're not."

"You're right, I'm not but I just thought you should know they were safe."

"We're never safe down here Bellamy so quit kidding yourself. Why are you here? Cuz we both know you didn't come all this way to tell me your friends were safe."

Murphy's anger was coming back and it was something familiar to Bellamy so he relaxed a bit as he spoke. 

"You were gone and it didn't feel right. Everyone was praising me, calling me a hero and I didn't deserve any of it. You're the only person who...I don't know, Murphy. You should be back at camp with us, with me and not here with Jaha on some suicide mission to a place that may not even exist."

Murphy wasn't sure how to take what Bellamy had just said. It was strange and not like him especially when he was talking to him. It was almost as if he cared but Bellamy didn't care about him, he never did. 

"Okay? You sure they didn't mess with you're head while you were in that place cuz you're not making any sense. You know damn well no one wants me there. Clarke still blames me for Finn, Raven wants me dead and you, every time you look at me I...I don't belong there Bellamy and we both know it."

"And you think you belong with Jaha? You think he actually cares about you because he doesn't. You're just another delusional follower who's bought into his silver-tongued bullshit. I thought you were smarter than that, Murphy but you're just some stupid kid with a daddy complex."

The words came out harsher and angrier than he'd intended but when Murphy punches him in the face it's familiar and welcomed. He lets Murphy hit him a few more times before he grabs him and slams him up against a tree. Murphy struggles under Bellamy's strong hold but can't break it and when he finally calms down Bellamy speaks. 

"I get wanting to belong, to find you're place, where you fit but Jaha isn't it. He doesn't understand or care about you."

"And you do? You forget Bellamy, I was your good little soldier once. I did anything and everything you said because you said it and look where it got me. I was hanged, beaten and banished by you. You let those things happen to me and you were supposed to protect me, defend me, stands by me, not rip out my heart and toss it away like garbage."

Murphy hadn't meant to say so much or reveal so much of his emotions but once he started he couldn't stop and the words just flowed out. Bellamy must have been just as shocked by his words as he was because he didn't know what to say. 

"Murphy I..."

"Don't. You don't get to come back after everything and expect me to follow you again because you're jealous. Stop pretending like you give a damn about me cuz you don't!"

"I wouldn't be here if i didn't care Murphy."

"Wow, the king cares for his trash. How sweet."

Something about Murphy calling himself trash hit a nerve with Bellamy and he slams him back into the tree. It was harder than he intended and yelled

"Shut up! Just shut up and..." He trails off when he sees the slight look of fear in Murphy's eyes that disappears as quickly as it appeared. 

Bellamy takes a deep breath, releases Murphy and says in a softer, almost defeated tone

"I just wanted to make sure you were safe and that the Grounders didn't have you. I was leaving when you saw me cuz I didn't wanna interfere. I needed to... to know that you...bye John. I hope you find what you're looking for at the City of Light."

Murphy looks at him confused. He couldn't understand why Bellamy was being like this and as Bellamy turns to leave, Murphy does something neither one of them ever expected. Before Murphy knows what's happening, he grabs Bellamy, pins him against a tree and kisses him.

When Murphy realizes what he's doing, he pulls away and instantly prepares himself for Bellamy to knock him out but he doesn't. After a few seconds of nothing happening, he opens his eyes to find Bellamy staring at him. 

"I'm...I didn't...I don't...Bellamy I..." 

The whole time that he's struggling to find the words he's backing away from Bellamy. Suddenly Bellamy closes the space between them and Murphy instinctively tenses but when he feels a hand touch the side of his face he looks up into Bellamy's eyes. The look he gets in return causes him to relax a bit as Bellamy speaks. 

"Come back to camp with me and be by my side again. Please John."

"Don't call me John."

"What if I like calling you John?"

"I don't like being called John."

"Jaha calls you John. You telling me you prefer him calling you John over me?"

"I don't know. I'm so fucking confused. Hell, Bellamy I kissed you and I'm still standing, why?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy has a realization and so does Murphy.

Before Bellamy could answer him he sees Jaha coming into view and quickly removes his hand from Murphy's face while taking a step back. 

"You were taking a long time and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Bellamy? I'm surprised to see you here. Will you be joining us on our journey?" He asked curiously. 

No, I was just leaving. I only came to tell Murphy the rest of our people are safe and back at camp."

"You sure there's nothing else cuz your face seems to suggest otherwise."

"Your suicide mission and words may work on someone who's lost or stupid but I'm neither and my face is none of your concern." Bellamy replied angrily. 

"John isn't lost."

Bellamy chuckles a bit before saying anything thinking it odd that he'd automatically assume he's talking about Murphy. 

"You sure about that? He looks at you like a child does a father. He hangs on your every word with the hope that you won't steer him wrong or betray him so don't because if you do I swear the next time I shoot you, you won't live."

Bellamy doesn't wait for a response and leaves both Jaha and Murphy standing there confused. Bellamy decides to take his time heading back since there's no need to rush and makes camp at nightfall. He tries to get some sleep but can't stop thinking about Murphy kissing him. It was awkward and hard but Murphy's lips were surprisingly soft against his and it felt right. 

Maybe that was why Murphy's absence bothered him so much and why even after everything that's happened between them some part of him still trusts him. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't heard or noticed anyone approaching until they spoke. 

"You know, you never answered my question. Why didn't you hit me when I kissed you."

The sound of his voice cutting the silence startles him but when he looks up to see Murphy he smiles as he sits down. 

"Well, you gonna answer me or just stare at me?"

"I don't know. I guess I was in shock. Why did you kiss me?"

"C'mon Bellamy, you can't tell me the thought has never crossed your mind. I mean I was always either with you or Mbege and if that wasn't proof enough, the way I looked at you shoulda been."

"I honestly never thought about it but when I saw you with Jaha I saw the similarities in the relationships and I missed it. I missed having someone who would follow me anywhere."

"You still have Clarke."

"It's not the same. I've had this feeling that something's been wrong for a while now and I was never really able to put my finger on what until I came back and you weren't there. You're an unpredictable, sarcastic asshole but you're loyal and a fighter in every way which makes you important. I need you by my side, to have my back when things with the Grounders go south but I'll understand if you don't trust me and wanna keep going with Jaha."

"You really don't get it do you? I never really stopped trusting you Bellamy. Why do you think I always go to you instead of Clarke? You can pull me back from the edge or send me over it with the simplest phrase or a look and I hate you for it but it's also what keeps me coming back to you. You've gotten under my skin in a way I can't shake and I'm not really sure I want to."

"So don't and come back with me. Some part of you wants too otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"I can't. Clarke and the others will never let..."

"I'll take care of Clarke and the others, I promise. I won't let you down again Murphy. I won't."

"Bellamy I...I don't..."

"Kiss me." Bellamy says interrupting him. 

"What?"

"Kiss me, John. At least this way if you stay with Jaha I'll have felt your lips on mine one last time and I..."

Murphy didn't wait for him to finish as he pressed his lips against Bellamy's. Bellamy wrapped has arms around Murphy, pulling him closer as their tongues fought for dominance in each other's mouths. When Bellamy moves his hands up under Murphy's shirt, he touches one of his scars and Murphy finches, pulling away from him.

"Don't. Just don't touch em."

"It's okay you know. I'll protect you from them too and maybe when you're ready we can talk about it. In the mean time I won't touch where you don't want me to. You have my word, John."

"First off, if I do come back with you, you gotta stop calling me John, at least when we're not alone. In private you can call me John all you want but any other time it's Murphy."

"I knew you liked me calling you John and I'm sure I can do that. Second?"

"Secondly, that better not be the last time we kiss tonight cuz Jaha has given me till morning to decide where I'm going."

"That definitely won't be a problem."

"Then why the hell aren't your lips on mine?" Murphy says with that cocky smile as Bellamy pulls him close and they kiss again. 

Bellamy runs his fingers through Murphy's hair a while before moving them down to unbutton his pants and when he doesn't protest, he sticks his hand down them. As Bellamy begins stroking Murphy's dick small moans escaped his mouth. 

Murphy had never wanted anyone more than he did Bellamy at that moment and as Bellamy's stokes became faster, Murphy bit Bellamy's bottom lip somehow causing them to fall backwards off the log they were seated on, onto the ground. 

They laid their in silence for a second with Bellamy on top of him until Murphy started laughing. He was actually laughing and it was a sound that wasn't heard since they first landed and definitely not from Murphy but Bellamy liked it. Soon he was laughing too as he rolled off Murphy to lay beside him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm good.You?"

"I landed on you so I'm good. We should probably get some sleep before morning though. "

"Or you could finish what you started."

"I suppose but if you follow Jaha then I'll never see you again and I don't..."

"What do you want from me Bellamy? If I go with you all I have is your word you'll protect me and if I go with Jaha there's the promise of something more. I don't know what to do."

Murphy is now standing and pacing angrily back and forth as he talks.

"I either follow Jaha, the man who killed my father or you, the man who tried to kill me and I'm expected to make this decision in one night? I can't. I know Jaha probably has some alterior motive for wanting me to come along but what do you want? What do you get outta me coming back with you?"

"You. I just get you and that's enough for me."

"Then why are you so far away?"

Bellamy pins Murphy against a tree and starts kissing him. He leaves a trail of kisses across his jaw line and down his neck. He's careful not to touch Murphy's shirt and concentrates once again on his pants. After Bellamy gets Murphy's pants down, he stops kissing him and smiles as Murphy lets out a small whine of disappointment. 

However as Bellamy slowly lowers himself to his knees, the anticipation of Bellamy's mouth on his dick was killing him and when Bellamy's mouth finally wrapped around it, Murphy couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped. He'd never felt anything so amazing and he didn't want it to stop. 

Murphy's body arched and he grabbed Bellamy's head. He wanted so badly to push Bellamy's head all the way down to his balls but he was afraid he'd stop completely so he settled for pulling his hair. Bellamy didn't mind the hair pulling, in fact it made him work harder knowing Murphy was enjoying it. 

When a "Fuck Bellamy" breathlessly escapes Murphy's lips, Bellamy runs his teeth lightly up his length and gently bites the tip before moving back down which was just enough to send Murphy over the edge. He tried to warn him but it happened to fast and he came in Bellamy's mouth. Bellamy stands, pulling Murphy's pants up in the process and kisses him. 

Murphy can still taste the saltiness of his come in Bellamy's mouth but he doesn't care and as he once again kisses Murphy's neck, he whispers in his ear

"I told you I'd take care of you but we should get some sleep, I gotta long walk back to camp."

"What about you? You should let me take care of you now."

"You can make it up to me later. This way if you go with Jaha you have a reason to come back." Bellamy said with a sly smile as he set up his bed roll.

They snuggle up by the fire together and soon fall asleep. When Bellamy wakes up to find Murphy gone, he's disappointed and a bit hurt that he hadn't satisfied Murphy enough to make him stay. He ate, packed his things and made his way back to Camp Jaha. As the drop ship came into view he decided he'd stay there until morning because he wasn't ready to go back just yet. 

What Bellamy didn't know was that Murphy had been following him the entire time but stayed far enough away that he never noticed so when Murphy quietly makes his way into the drop ship Bellamy is oblivious to his presence. 

"So should I make it up to you now or back at camp?"

Bellamy jumps and spins around ready to fight but can't help the joy on his face when he sees who it is. 

"Both would work for me. After all we got time. I thought you...When I woke up and you were gone I...I didn't think you had picked me."

"That's the thing Bellamy, I'll always pick you. You just better do what you said cuz I can't deal with you betraying me again. Not now, not after..."

Bellamy closes the distance, cups Murphy's face in his hands and kisses him. 

"I won't, John. Not again, I swear. I'll do things right by you this time. The way I should've done before."

"You better." Murphy says barely above a whisper against Bellamy's lips as they meet again. 

"I will, John. Trust me."

And he did trust him because it was Bellamy. The only constant in his life. Bellamy was everything he needed or wanted and always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think cuz I love feedback regardless if it's good or bad.


End file.
